This is something that I’ve learned over the past year
Expectations kill Appreciation
I’ll give you all an example
(I hope you don’t hate me after)
Before Passover My mother in law bought my kids clothing
Two cute dresses for my daughter and pants and a shirt for my son.
I said thank you but what I was thinking was “finally, she’s acting like a grandmother”
I’m actually disgusted with myself that I thought that.
This whole time I’ve been expecting things of my mother in law- when I shouldn’t have been expecting anything.
Instead of thinking finally… I should’ve thought wow she got my kids such cute outfits or she spent her hard earned money on them -wow thank you
Appreciating what she got for my kids. Appreciating and being thankful.
One of the reasons I do have a hard time showing proper appreciation is because growing up appreciation was used to stroke my mother’s ego and help her feel good about herself.
An example: After getting a bag full of used and unwanted head coverings from my cousin she told me I should tell my mother thank you because she bought them for my cousin who in turn I giving them to me.
This is true for all relationship expectations
Including: mother’s day, anniversaries, birthdays etc.
Here’s a post I scrolled past on FB after I started writing this post that’s saying a similar thing https://www.facebook.com/399113863517961/posts/2177850308977632/
What I want to write out clearly is…
Don’t expect anything if you haven’t told your spouse/ significant other your expectations.
They’ll fail horribly and you’ll be disappointed and dissatisfied.
Do you want to tell them what you want for a gift or how you want the day celebrated? Nope, not really.
But honestly- people aren’t mind readers.
So what can we do to get what we want for these special days and occasions?
- Make an Amazon or AliExpress wishlist of different presents that you would like and share it with them
- Make a Pinterest board of different presents or date ideas you’d like and share it with them
- Take your spouse on a date you want to go on (seriously… Who says they have to arrange the date??)
- Write a list of things you want/ activities you like doing / restaurants you like going to… And give it to them.
- Sounds silly but make an expectations list
I’d like all birthdays and special dates listed to be celebrated with gifts, a card, a date night etc
I’d like birthdays and anniversaries to be celebrated with a special trip (list trips) and Hallmark holidays to be celebrated with cards and flowers
Understanding this and accepting that we are human will lead to happier relationships
This is my Mother’s day gift to myself (and all of you)
Expect little and Appreciate a lot.