Mother’s day gift to myself

This is something that I’ve learned over the past year

Expectations kill Appreciation

I’ll give you all an example

(I hope you don’t hate me after)

Before Passover My mother in law bought my kids clothing

Two cute dresses for my daughter and pants and a shirt for my son.

I said thank you but what I was thinking was “finally, she’s acting like a grandmother”

I’m actually disgusted with myself that I thought that.

This whole time I’ve been expecting things of my mother in law- when I shouldn’t have been expecting anything.

Instead of thinking finally… I should’ve thought wow she got my kids such cute outfits or she spent her hard earned money on them -wow thank you

Appreciating what she got for my kids. Appreciating and being thankful.

One of the reasons I do have a hard time showing proper appreciation is because growing up appreciation was used to stroke my mother’s ego and help her feel good about herself.

An example: After getting a bag full of used and unwanted head coverings from my cousin she told me I should tell my mother thank you because she bought them for my cousin who in turn I giving them to me.

This is true for all relationship expectations

Including: mother’s day, anniversaries, birthdays etc.

Here’s a post I scrolled past on FB after I started writing this post that’s saying a similar thing

What I want to write out clearly is…

Don’t expect anything if you haven’t told your spouse/ significant other your expectations.

They’ll fail horribly and you’ll be disappointed and dissatisfied.

Do you want to tell them what you want for a gift or how you want the day celebrated? Nope, not really.

But honestly- people aren’t mind readers.

So what can we do to get what we want for these special days and occasions?

  • Make an Amazon or AliExpress wishlist of different presents that you would like and share it with them
  • Make a Pinterest board of different presents or date ideas you’d like and share it with them
  • Take your spouse on a date you want to go on (seriously… Who says they have to arrange the date??)
  • Write a list of things you want/ activities you like doing / restaurants you like going to… And give it to them.
  • Sounds silly but make an expectations list


I’d like all birthdays and special dates listed to be celebrated with gifts, a card, a date night etc

I’d like birthdays and anniversaries to be celebrated with a special trip (list trips) and Hallmark holidays to be celebrated with cards and flowers

Understanding this and accepting that we are human will lead to happier relationships

This is my Mother’s day gift to myself (and all of you)

Expect little and Appreciate a lot.


WhatsApp to my Mom

I was on Facebook and a goalcast post came up about this man who had a difficult relationship with his father.

He said sorry

I’m not that strong- I can’t say sorry for my “wrongs”

What exactly did I do wrong?

I stopped talking to my mom when it became very clear she wasn’t good for my family. For my kids and husband. For me.

When my daughter needed to go to the hospital and she asked why I’m going.

The realization was too clear

However much I’ve been hurt by her– I will never allow my family to be hurt

So I wrote this message and sent it to her

Hi Mommy
It’s me

I wanted to say I understand you.

Not I’m sorry
Not I forgive you

But I understand you.

You grew up in hell
Emotionally abandoned

You’re parents didn’t have the emotional where with all to love their children
Just raise them

They suffered
And because they suffered you suffered…

It has taken me years to fully accept that- my head knew it but my heart was constantly blaming you for your short comings.

There are so many things that bothered me about our upbringing
But that’s not the point of this message.

I want to say thank you.

Thank you for adopting me

Thank you for sending me to school

Thank you for all the beach trips and amusement parks

Thank you for all the camps

Thank you for all the clothes, and the food, and the books.

Thank you for all the good memories

I appreciate it.

I’d like to have open communication without any BS
If you are up to it

If not at least I know that I’ve tried

With much love and gratitude,

She blocked me…

I guess she’s not ready for a relationship without her BS

I’m good

I know I tried

I’m mourning

Not for the loss of my mother but for the realization that I’ll never have that relationship.

I have no Mommy to call when I’m having a bad day

I have no Mother to be proud of my accomplishments

I have no parent to encourage me

But I do have…

A loving amazing husband

Kids that I love more than life

I have a family I can raise and love

I can be the mother I never had

Hello and Welcome!!

Hi Everyone!

Welcome to my Blog!!

I really wanted to start a YouTube channel but I’m not willing to put on makeup every day… I digress.

Some things you should know about me:

I’m 26

A Gemini

A wife to an amazing husband

A mother to 2 yummy kids

Yes, I’m a coffee addict

I’m a lisenced Cosmetologist and I run my own boutique salon

I love reading

I’m an “ultra-orthodox” Jewish religious woman

And I’m adopted

I had/have a mentally ill adoptive mother who was emotionally abusive and emotionally neglectful

I’ve been diagnosed with a panic disorder

I’ll be posting mostly about my struggles being a loving caring mom when I didn’t have one. I’ll write about different things I’ve learned about myself and life. I’ll write about my struggles of learning my self worth and learning to love myself.

All with a cup of coffee in my hand 😉

I’m excited (and nervous… and scared)

I hope you all gain something from my experiences

Much love